I can't stop this feelin'.....

Catch that? Ever had a song stuck in your head. Yeah I'm sure you have. This is the song that is stuck in my head today. Lori knows all the songs that I bring up that get stuck in my head.
She quietly goes in her room, and emerges after a short period of time and Voila! she has a CD made for me entitled "Just for Michelle". That is sooo cool. She has all the songs you can imagine. I took a picture of her recently because she looked sooo good in this shirt- she blushed of course but she let me take the picture- so I think I will share it.

I have a picture of Pecia too come to think of it. Here she is. We got together last week and colored each others hair, and goofed off, and had fun in Northern NY despite the weather, which was very snowy that day.
She was so gracious to give my son Isaac a ride to school for practice-(he was nagging for a ride after he MADE me cut his hair). While she was gone LORI, (yeah Lori!!!) picked up Pecia's purse and started checking it out. It was a cool purse- soooo Pecia's style. It was a soft suede with long hangy downy fringe, and the strap was braided. Then Lori started going through it.
First she brought out the hair color, which was the ice breaker, that was OK though because it was the main event. Then when she opened an orange bag she found (which ended up being a pencil case) things started to get interesting.
She found another small folded black thingy, yeah it was a necessities case- drop that back in. What else was in here?
She found a small, cute heart-shaped tin labelled "Shut up and kiss me" mints. No doubt they were from pecia's new husband Vince. Lori opened them up and ate some and offered one to me-no way was I going to eat them. They were shaped like little x's and o's- really too cute, but this was taboo.
Then she started to laugh and write notes and put them in Pecia's things. She put one in her compact mirror, one in her personal "hi Jean!" case, one in her pencil case, and then we heard the car pull in the driveway!!
"Uh oh! Pecia's back!! Quick, better hurry up Lori!!" But Lori had emergency surgery less than a year ago, and she doesn't move as fast as she used to, and of course we started to laugh, and when Lori starts to laugh anything can happen, and does, and DID. All sorts of noises from all over her body start hooting, and frooping and pooping, and she snorts and well, THAT never goes the way she wants it to go - "TISSUES please!!!"
When Pecia opened the door we froze. We were lucky she drove the Mini and was still mesmerized by the ride. She was talking to herself about it as she was walking in the door, which distracted her from our loud laughing, guilty looks, the cloudy haze in the room. Not to mention the huge pile of crumpled tissues scattered about. Of course Pecia went right over to her purse and opened it. Yikes!!! We couldn't hold in the laughter. She started with the line "did you see my cool purse?" and started to tell us what a great purse it was and pulled out the contents like it was show-and-tell starting with the orange pencil case!!!
"Isn't this a great purse?" she said, and look it has all my pencils in it for school- sure enough she opened it and there was a fresh note that read ,"Cool purse, love you - LP" I laughed, Lori just looked at me and started to make those noises again without warning.
Pecia looked at us not knowing what to think. She commented on how much Lori's handwriting looks like mine- what could I say? I thought of Tom, what would Tommy say? I told her that Lori was doing so well in rehab that she has mastered her handwriting skill and being ambidextrous before surgery she certainly would be considered talented and well anything could be expected even this!!- It sounded just as much like crap then as it does not. She didn't buy it. BUSTED!!! but it was funny. It was fun to laugh with them like we did when we were kids. The only thing we were missing was Tom. I did think of you- briefly of course LOL!!!

And on we go

Tuesday February 20, 2007. Wow this year is going by so fast. This is the Tuesday of the kids vacation ALREADY!!. No matter if it's vacation or not Race has gone to his dad's already- He goes every Tuesday at 1:30. I have had him since Friday- he he he!!!I am so happy because I had my little boy for 7 of the last 9 days when before January 10, 2007 I had him 3 out of 14 days. That is why I am smiling, and finally feeling happy again. Race was taken from me by an ex parte' order granted by a family court judge on false allegations made by my husband. I was not granted an immediate hearing, and have spent the last 7 months wreathing in agony over this custody battle. My son was literally taken from me and I could do nothing about it but wait while justice takes it course, and it's sweet time.
I was allowed to have Race during the day when his father was working but then when night came he had to go back. When my little boy was used to having his mother read, and sing to him before bed and rock him until he went to sleep he had to leave me and go to dad's. He didn't understand, I didn't understand, and it was tough. Tough on him more than on me, and it was devastating to me. However, in my first posting I said I was finally smiling again, and this is why. I have my baby back. I have to share him, which I knew I would have to do when I gave birth to him, but I have him half the time now with nights too.
This past year has really been the hardest thing I have had to go through but I made it through and I can breathe now and I feel strong, and I can feel me. I realize my life is mine- precious and wonderful, and I am a good woman, and I have a great family, and I have friends who care about me, and I can express love and be given love back, and my boys love me through thick, and thin, and it was getting quite thin. I have three beautiful, wonderful sons and I love them. They are all with me, and will always know me, and will always be loved by me.

Today I cut Races hair- and it really needed it, and it looks good!!!. He didn't like sitting there, and told me he wanted to be done NOW- 35 seconds into it, but he sat pretty good for a 4 year old having his hair cut by his mom. He told me "you are not a 'haircutter' you are a mom"!! I told him "I cut Isaac's hair so I am a haircutter". We finished the haircut(complete with a bath to be rid of all those nasty itchy hairs that love to stick to baby skin on their neck's) in time to go for the long walk across the street to his dad's (yep, the neighbor is his father) with his Valentines inside his little paper mail truck he made in pre-school, and his spiderman rolling backpack with his school clothes in it for tomorrow. Off he went until tomorrow when I pick him up and take him to school, and pick him up to stay the NIGHT with me.

Anyway also on this Tuesday, my Ikey has a sectional game at his home gym playing basketball tonight at 7 p.m. He is so nervous about it he only got 2 hours of sleep all night. He hasn't been able to participate in full practices because of shin splints, but he has been icing them and bought a - leg thingy-(yeah that's it a leg thingy)to help. I don't know what it is, all I heard was it felt better, and so I smiled- Great! mom's like hearing that. So he is feeling better, and will be playing tonight. He has led his team in scoring, and in rebounds this season. The last game of the season he scored enough points to take him over 200 total points for the season. He plays the forward positon and there is a website to see his progress at www.frontierleaguesports.com. He is in there under Isaac Bushey for Lowville Academy. I just ran him to school. He is 6'2" and a size 13 shoe. He is a nice fella with a cantankerous sort of sense of humor. It's like, well it's like anything that you have to take in slow doses to appreciate, only without the total appreciation afterwards. I just understand his humor. I have been the brunt of it for a little while now- it's unique, and quirky all at the same time.
If you can get close enough to him to see it you will know what I mean. It sort of like a foreign language, if you don't speak it, you don't get it. He says totally inappropriate things just for the facial expressions or the effect. It sounds totally disrespectful but he is actually one of the most sensitive people on the planet and would cry if he thought he actually offended or hurt someone.
Just before he left tonight for the game my mother asked him to help his grandpa into his bedroom, and Isaac said "no way!"
- Uh huh See? Not funny- but that is the humor of it- Of course he will help, and did. He has the 'shocking' sense of humor.
Don't worry, mom gets him because he and Grampa have a 'thing', and always did. He listens to me when I tell him that it's not funny, and he won't say it again- Well depending on how hard I expressed "it's not funny"- I just might see it again, and again, because it's- well, just not funny to me, which is funny to him; to see me unhumored.
What a wierd post, but there it is with a picture of my 2 subjects- One of Ike with his dress clothes before a basketball game and his side kick little brother, his biggest fan; Race- with the hairdoo before the beautiful home-made non-haircutter mom cutting.

I am blessed beyond measure to have my new life that has allowed me to be surrounded by my family who all get along miraculously well. This is a time with a reason behind it... that I am sure of, yet I have absolutely no clue what the reason is, but hey... here we all are, and on we go. We all have each other, and we all need each other right now. No one could have predicted this menagerie of a life for any of us.
Good thing we all get along or this would be hell.



Hope you liked my post- Thanks for commenting. Hey- it's all about you Tommy- I love you -you're the greatest xoxoxoxox

My Valentine

This is actually the Friday following Valentines day but I think this is worth blogging since I did not make an entry on Wednesday the actual Valentines Day. My son is a senior this year- He is my oldest and so we are doing all the senior things starting with his senior pictures- beautiful if I must say so myself- anyway. This fella is not just a beauty on the outside he is so beautiful on the inside it will make your eyes tear. I'll just tell you a little bit about my beauty-Andrew. When he was born there was no more beautiful creature on the planet in my eyes. Not until this year when looking at his baby pictures did I actually see what everyone else saw- WOW. As a baby he had a perfectly shaped head- very round- and BIG, bigger then I remember it, and bald at that time, his eyes were big and blue- they still are but now they don't work very well as he needs contacts and cannot see at all without them. His smile was as big as the moon, and I mean that quite literally- he could fit (and still can) his clenched fist into his enormous mouth, but his smile is real and genuine. He melts you when he talks to you.

He was very attatched to his grandmother from a very early age. I'm not sure why as she was making fun of him since birth starting with clapping a pair of shoes together on his feet making quacking noises with them because they were too big, until I couldn't breath anymore from laughing so hard. When he was 2 years old grandma was leaving for Florida. He did not understand this and when we said goodbye he cried, and cried. She told him that whenever he felt a breeze on his cheek it was her blowing him a kiss. He spent the ride home with his head out the window just so he could feel the breeze.

Then when he was 10 years old and I was in the grocery store he would leave me and when I found him he would be pushing some elderly woman's (no doubt a grandmother) cart around helping her find, and reach all her groceries. One of his rewards was a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream- the lady asked for help getting ice cream and while he was helping her she asked his favorite- he told her and she bought it for him as he would never accept money for helping out. He really is a nice guy.

This is why I wrote this- My senior went to school and got the names and locker numbers of all the girls in his senior class. He took the money he made from mentoring an underclassman and tutoring and bought two bunches of red carnations, and wrote this poem "People will come and people will pass, but I will always remember all the girls in my class." He attatched a copy of the poem to each flower, and wrote down each name and locker number, and then put one on every girls locker in his senior class. Every girl in the class of 2007 at his high school received a Valentine flower this year. The school attendance lady called looking for my nephew, who was at a doctors appointment, and asked me which one of my sons was responsible for putting all the flowers on the lockers at school? She said the school was flowers everywhere because of it. What a great way to be remembered. He is my Valentine.

First posting

Hellooooo out there. .....I can hear myself. I wonder of anyone is listening.
Helloooo..............

When I was a little girl my brother Tommy and I would hollar out 'helloooo' on the beach at Stoney Lake when we arrived at our favorite place on the planet, and the lake would always hollar back in a very friendly, familiar voice. It was great. We did that for about five times each before we ran inside and donned our bathing suits to venture into the cold, clear, refreshing water to swim our lives away. It was the best of times- unbeknownst at that age to the worst of times yet to be experienced later on in my strange life. Here I am in the strange times, also known as the worst of times at least since last March when my husband locked me out of my house with a security system he would not tell me the code to to get back in. I guess it was even before that when things were bad, but the really worst started and sort of evolved until recently. Like I think I feel a calming since last week, only since last week, and I have actually been smiling for about a week now- Yeah, I am finally happy now.

I'll tell more later. You can count on it. any way enough for now. Gotta go